Sunday, 26 August 2018

My August - A Review

As I bid adieu to August, I must be completely honest with myself (and you - my anonymous readers) when I say I accomplished some goals and I failed to accomplish some goals.

Prior to the start of the month, I had wanted to write in my journal everyday, exercise everyday, and apply for at least one job a day. Overall, be more organized, productive, and healthy.

I wrote in my journal two times - both times I failed to complete everything on my list. I had applied for a few jobs but I was not "actively looking". Instead, I took the time to work on my hobbies and to avoid my hobbies (because I was becoming a serial-hobbist who could not control her raging imagination unfortunately paired with her unmatchable talent/skills). I did, however, attend my spin class religiously everyday. Sometimes even twice a day. I did yoga maybe 3-4 times a week. Before you ask, no, I did not lose any weight. However, my body looks less lumpy, feels more firm (arms, stomach, and legs).

Even though my exercise regimen is stellar, I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I had planned on doing more. Going to more spin classes, attending yoga every weekday, eating less, eating healthier, drinking more water, sleeping earlier, organizing my room, organizing my life...

I only managed to kind of achieve one thing. When they say "shoot for the stars" they must've forgotten to mention in the fine print how disheartening and depressing it is to not reach the stars and having to settle for the clouds.

If a hodgepodge of all the people I admire were to stand before me and tell me I was doing well despite not completing every goal I set out, I would not be able accept it. I could do better. I need to do better. Summer is ending and I feel a little less lost but I am not where I want to be. Is there improvement? The urge to want to fight to achieve more.

August gave me so much. I re-connected with my Asian identity. I started watching/reading/listening (not repeatedly) to C-Drama, J-Drama, K-Drama, Kpop, manga, and manhwa. I even created a Weibo account in hopes of learning Chinese/keeping up with the culture.

For September, I want to keep up my exercise routine, be concise of what I am eating and how much I am eating. I want to actively search for jobs, and task less in my journal but write and reassess it nonetheless.

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